hello world

First workday of the week, first blog and first post- cliche but true. Why blogging and why now? It is so against my nature to follow the trend, a born rebel I have been all my life who resists changes and anything new. I can only conclude for now it's the writer in me that yearns to come out. The opportunity to vent from within a frustrating cubical cell in the form of safe monologue is another contributing factor. Did I mention I am cautious? Impulsive too, which sounds illogical, but then again that is totally the story of me or my life – struggling between extremes, searching for compromise (and failing miserably).

First off: why Benjamin Button? Certainly I am not at all looking younger everyday; in fact I am at a stage of doing exactly the opposite and fighting hopelessly with aging as most vain people do. It’s the “living backwards” that brings me and Benjamin together. Most people follow the pattern of schools, jobs, marriage and children, while I may have similar pattern with schools and marriage, but the job thing is definitely out of sync. After 20 years of staying at home for children and family, I am back on the horse with this “career” thing. Even that, I know I am not unique - plenty enough people have done that, but 20 years of absence in the IT/Computer field is another ball game. After one and half years of “adjusting”, I am still adjusting. Benjamin fought with his external, physical “out-of-sync” and I with my internal difference, the skills and the ability to learn. He faced his daemon with a world moving the other direction in “growing old” while I with my 20’s, at most 30’s, colleagues that seem at times total aliens in many ways such as experience, culture and values. My 20’s and 30’s days besides being young have nothing in common with theirs. I wonder at times if my parents’ generation ever struggled with the same realization at their time as i do with mine.

A very quiet Monday before Thanksgiving – Many people have already taken off to make it a full week of vacation. Being one of the new employees with little time to spare for vacation, I will be here till end of day Wednesday. For me, that is vacation: half of the colleagues gone means extra parking spaces and peace and quiet. I can feel the calm inside of me already even without the help of my 60’s oldies. It is indeed the drudgery Monday, but I am excited. I am almost horrified to realize that I want these three days to drag on forever…. My ears are still ringing the tune from the Christmas caroling this morning “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow”, except my lyric is: ” let it last, let it last, let it last”.

So hello world, meet your new Benjamin! May your pre-Thanksgiving days be as jolly as mine and may you be blessed by the unusual dose of serenity from this forever restless soul in the jail of cubical 20.