turkey or no turkey?

Almost thanksgiving – one more day to go and there will be turkey, gravy and sins and indulgence of all kind to last all day long and even afterwards. For two years since our move back to old VA after 6 years of exile in NH, our Thanksgiving was so tragically marred that it was hardly anything worth giving thanks. The first year was in our rental townhouse waiting for our new home to close. Since we were living off the suitcase with all our possessions in the storage, it seemed logical to downsize the menu to chicken, store bought stuffing and mashed potato. At 7pm, the chicken was merely halfway done, so we went on with our "feast" on stuffing and potato alone. The next year we charged back with vengeance and a real deal, the turkey, hoping to recover from the shameful defeat of the previous year. At 7pm the turkey was still undone. There is nothing more deflating and unappetizing than a turkey running in pink fluid, thus another year of birdless thanksgiving with nothing festive except for mile piled shame.

We have had some memorable and successful thanksgivings. I couldn’t help wondering what went wrong: the bird or timing of the bird? Why is thanksgiving defined by turkeys when we aren’t even crazy about it? Looking back, those successes were tagged with the presence of friends and families, and yes, the stupid bird too. So maybe it is not about the turkey? Still, I remember a couple of times when we tried to contradict the tradition by substituting turkey with other alternatives, one of them being everyone’s favorite, Chinese dumplings, and as delicious as they were it didn’t make it on the memorable list. Rebels we may be at times, we always return to that mysterious bird after straying.

For a small family of 4 with barely a handful of extended families left or nearby, Thanksgiving, like Christmas, is a perplexing question of not only “turkey or no turkey” but also “friends or no friends”. The answers seem to be obvious and yet we struggle every year like fools that suffer from short-term memory loss. There is fun and good food when two (turkey and friends) are combined and yet it comes with a price tag of the loss of aloneness, serenity and everything selfish. Commitment as small as a dose of half day means the loss of freedom which at times may seem excruciating that even no turkey and fun can make up for it. I can’t help thinking alone the line of the Visa commercial with a version like this: turkey dinner, yum; company of friends: fun; luxury of freedom: priceless.

So here we go again, with a day to spare, facing our enemy up close and personal: turkey or no turkey? As plain as it is, this question remains the greatest mystery of all time and shall continue to torment us year after year.